Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
