There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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