i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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