I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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