for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
