You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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