I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
