she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
