Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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