We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Welp...herpes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
