I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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