You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
