someone get that fucking seahorse.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize