So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
