First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize