I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
