good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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