why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
