i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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