Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
