FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
