Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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