capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
