We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
