I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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