10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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