im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
