Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
