real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
