WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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