dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
