Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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