The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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