Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
