Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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