I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
