Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
honey bunches of taint.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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