i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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