Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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