you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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