His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
