Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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