arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
