That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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