oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
