my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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