Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
