how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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