i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
