at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
