Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
