There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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