I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
