He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize