She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
