I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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