so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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