Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
