Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
