I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
