At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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