I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
