And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so let's talk penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
