So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
