I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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