we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
